There is no doubt that woman around the world have been impaling themselves with dick-shaped objects for a very long time. I guess we didn’t realize just how long this has been going on!
It turns out, women (and men too, based upon findings in the tombs of men) were pretty clever and inventive when in creating new pleasure sticks:
c. 50,000 – 10,000 years ago
Baton de Commandement
It’s still uncertain whether these phallic-shaped toys were actually sex toys or had another purpose. We like to think that yes, the first dildo had a handle.
The batons were made from antler and often had designs etched into them. While archaeologists aren’t totally certain of their function, a sexual aid is as good of a guess as any. Other suggestions for uses have been a spear straightener, a spear thrower, a dress fastener, a calendar for women, or a leather smoothing tool.
In our opinion, if it looks like a dildo, it probably is a dildo.
c. 28,000 years ago
Found and assembled in 2005, Hohle Phallus is made from siltstone and was polished smooth.
Hohle Fels is a cavern that was discovered in eastern Germany in the late 1800s. Numerous items of archaeological importance have been found in Hohle Fels, including tools, musical instruments, statues, and human remains. Some of the items in the cavern have been dated back to as far as 42,000 years ago. This is an actual cave woman dildo!
c. 14,000 years ago
Phallic pieces with retracted or absent foreskin and tattoos and piercings. Interestingly, some of these phalluses look more like animal than human penises. Rut Roh.
This provides anthropologists a unique insight into penis decoration. Yes, there are scientists that study this. Scarification, piercings, and tattoos likely graced the nether regions of ancient men based on the depictions that are observed on their sex toys.
c. 6000-8000 years ago
Discovered in 2010 in Sweden is this bone antler phallus. It measures about 4 inches long and has a diameter of 2 inches. Not bad Stone Age people, not bad.
c. 2000-5000 years ago
Means “bread dildo” and has been depicted in numerous paintings from ancient Greece. Women would bake phallic-shaped breadsticks and use them for pleasure. We aren’t sure if they ate them afterwards. Eww.
Kollix means “bread” in Ancient Greek and Olisbo means dildo. There are depictions of Olisbokollix in several pieces of ancient Greek pottery.
Bronze Phallus from China
Multiple bronze phallic shaped objects have been unearthed belonging to Chinese women and men. Between 1995 and 2011, 2000 year old tombs from Chinese royalty and upper class were excavated. Along with the typical household items that are normally found in tombs were a variety of sex toys. These toys were often made from brass or jade.
The Rise of Dildos and “Mechanical Devices” in History
- Olisbokollix – The Joy of Sexus: Lust, Love, and Longing in the Ancient World Paperback – January 29, 2013
by Vicki León
- Mesolithic phallus – Peter Zetterlund, Swedish National Heritage Board
- Chinese brass phallus – LianYing Site Jiangsu,Western Han Period, Yizheng Museum
- Hohle’s phallus – Image: J. Liptak