If you’re looking to get just a little bit more kinky in your relationship, the 50 Shades sex toy lineup might just be for you! Here are my recommendations to get you started!
50 Shades of Grey Sex Toys
When it comes to the 50 Shades of Grey books, there are two wildly different opinions.
The average vanilla gal finds it a kinky and erotic read because it explores someone just like themselves entering a new world of sexuality.
The other opinion of this series is that of disgust because of the rampant lack of consent and of Christian Grey’s obvious manipulation of our main character.
If the latter is your opinion, this might not be the page for you today because everything is going to be tainted with 50 Shades of Grey stuff. I know I can’t cum with things that I hate.
The 50 Shades of Grey v has been a best seller since it was released. And for good reason. The toys are of excellent quality and deliver just the right sensations whether you’re playing solo or have a partner in crime that can tie you up.
BDSM is Healthy in Relationships
When Mister and I started looking at our sex life in with kink-tinted lenses, I was worried at first. I didn’t want to label myself and him as “weird” or “freaky” because of some of the interesting things that we were experimenting with. As we progressed along in fine tuning what worked for us (and believe me, we still have a great deal to work on as we learn), we began to realize that it was improving our relationship significantly.
Not only that, but we both felt more confident about ourselves.
Here’s a study that looked at almost 1000 BDSM practitioners and surveyed their disposition and well-being. The conclusion of the study is what tickled me: “We conclude that BDSM may be thought of as a recreational leisure, rather than the expression of psychopathological processes.”
Oh thanks, so we don’t actually have mental disorders.
Quite the opposite actually. The authors found that people engaging in BDSM behaviour were less neurotic, less introverted, more open to new experiences, less sensitive to rejection, more conscientious, and had a greater sense of well-being when compared to “normies.” Interestingly enough, they found that these traits were more likely to be found in dominants rather than submissives.
So throw away all of your ideas about BDSM being gross or weird or only for people that look or act a certain way. These are things that we could all stand to incorporate into our own lives, even if it’s just a little bit!
50 Shades of Grey Sex Toy Favorites
If you’re looking for a great starter combination to get you going in the world of BDSM, the 50 Shades of Grey sex toy lineup probably will have what you’ll need. With almost 100 products in their lineup, it can be hard to choose which are really necessary for experimentation with your new dominant (or submissive!). I’ve narrowed down the list a bit into essentially a BDSM starter kinky kit. Most everything should be recognizable; there’s no scary nipple clamps or intimidating anal beads.
But if you like anal beads, fear not, they have those too!
My list includes:
- A rabbit vibrator
- Set of bed restraints with mask
- a tickler (for pleasure),
- a spanking ruler (for pain),
- a vibrating anal plug
- water based lube to get everything slippery wet.
The Greedy Girl Rabbit GSpot Vibrator is a naughty take on the classic rabbit vibe and is probably the lineup’s best selling product. I had never owned a black vibrator and, I must say, this is dark and sexy and I get lusty feelings just looking at it.
I love this thing.
It’s not that I’m in love with the Greedy Girl. It’s just that it’s the best rabbit vibrator I’ve used in a loooong time.
The Greedy Girl GSpot Vibrator is good for alone-time masturbation and amazing to use with a partner. Having your partner use a rabbit vibrator on you is kind of awesome because there is one device, so one hand only, doing all the work. You get vaginal penetration, G-spot stimulation, and buzzing on your clitoris and your partner still has a free hand to touch other parts of you, or even themselves!
Here are the deets on the Greedy Girl Rabbit GSpot Vibrator:
- 9.5 inches long, 5 inches of insertable shaft
- 1.5 inches wide
- Made from silicone
- USB rechargable
- 2 motors, one for the shaft and one for the bunny
- Curved tip hits your G-spot
The size of the Greedy Girl is pretty much spot on. With any vibrator that has a curved gspot tip, you really don’t need more than 5 inches of insertable shaft because you’ll want to be thrusting a little more shallowly to hit your Gspot perfectly. I also found that the 1.5 inches wide was a good width to fill me up but not give that “stretched” feeling that you can experience with bigger toys.
I really should mention:
If you’re planning on using this toy on your lady friend, just be forewarned that the motors are very powerful! You’ll definitely want to start on “low” speed first and work your way up at her request. You get three speeds for both the shaft and bunny motor and 12 vibrational patterns on the shaft motor.
“What Not to Do When Tying up Your Partner”
There is something so enticing about being tied to the bed and completely helpless while your partner has their way with you! My first experiences, however, weren’t so fun. Here’s what not to do:
You see, years and years ago, the Mister and I were fooling around and we thought it would be kinky to handcuff me to the dresser beside the bed. I thought I was going to get ravished and his plan was to tease me. We had zero communication about this beforehand.
I should mention we lived in what was essentially a frat house so loud music was booming all day long. He locked me up with very secure handcuffs, and left the room.
Neither of us realized the extent of my claustrophobia.
Nobody could hear me scream.
He came back about 10 minutes later to a sobbing, strung out, mess of a girlfriend that was not even remotely interested in sex or being tied up ever again. And we didn’t do that again for years.
The point of my story, young grasshoppers, is that it is so incredibly important to establish communication and safe “outs” before engaging in any kind of kinky play. The Mister could have given me the key to the handcuffs or told me before he cuffed me that he might be leaving the room. At the time, I felt so incredibly panicked to be alone and affixed to a nearly immovable object. What if there was a fire? How would I get out?
Today, if I get restrained, we both know that the Mister isn’t allowed to leave the room and we always have an “instant release” solution to whatever substrate being used to tie me up. And he does tie me up, often!
An under the bed restraint system is totally worth it when diving into a little bit of not-so-vanilla play time! I really like the 50 Shades Hard Limit Kit because the cuffs are secure, yet soft. You won’t be getting marks or bruising on your wrists from these cuffs.
When they’re properly worn, I can’t free myself without help.
The nylon straps fit under your Queen or King sized bed in a cross and come out the sides to strap to your arms and/or legs. You attach the cuffs to yourself or your partner first and clip them onto the straps using the metal keychain clips. Then the fun part of tightening begins!
The cuffs can be used independently and clipped to anything else if you want to move the fun to outside the bedroom.
Having a system like this is perfect if you have kids or other people living in your home. When you’re done with the straps, they can just tuck discreetly under your mattress until next time. That feature is also great if you’re lazy like me and don’t like to interrupt the mood by having to pull up the mattress.
To top it all off:
The mask makes the whole experience 10 times more exciting. You are now restrained and have no idea what your partner is going to do next or where they will touch. Will it be pleasure or pain?
Pleasure, you say?
It’s sort of an art form to be able to tie someone up and manage the intricate balance between pleasure and pain to keep them always wanting more from you. For some, the balance is tipped entirely towards the pleasure side and, instead of pain, there is a removal of pleasure. For others, the pain makes the pleasure so much more sweet.
Part of pleasure is different sensations. Your hands, your mouth, your genitals, and your skin all feel vastly different to the object of your attention when they are blindfolded and cannot anticipate what you will do next. This is why objects like feather ticklers are so popular in the kink communities. It’s all about adding more and different sensations to your repertoire when you are the one in charge. You could use a silk scarf for a soft touch over their genitals, or a plastic hairbrush for that feel-good scratchy feeling over their rear.
Feathers give that whisper touch that almost feels like nothing is touching you at all.
They give that shiver sensation.
The 50 Shades of Grey Tease Feather Tickler is a great addition to your kinky kit! What you get is a 14″ ostrich feather tickler with a plastic handle. At $12.99, it’s an inexpensive way to add more sensations to your bedroom.
The Opposite of Pleasure is…
Most people when asked, say that they would rather avoid physical pain in their lives. I mean, from an evolution perspective, pain avoidance is one of the main contributors to fitness and reproductive success.
So what goes on in our heads when we are tied up, completely in the control of someone else, and begging for a spanking?
I’m not a psychologist, so I don’t have the answers here, but I suspect that we are craving BIG sensations. Big sensations are like orgasms. An orgasm is an undeniably huge sensation that most of us cannot just ignore and go on with our lives while it’s occurring.
Getting a firm sharp slap on your bottom that’s hard enough to make you suck in your breath is similar to an orgasm… sort of. The pain comes in waves.
“The feeling floods your whole body.”
You can’t ignore it.
And then it slowly starts to drift away.
If the person spanking you is anything like the person that spanks me, you’ll oftentimes get rewarded with an oh-so-delicate pleasure sensation afterwards. Soft kisses or gentle strokes feel approximately twelve thousand times better after feeling pain.
That’s just my experience with it.
What do you use to deliver pain? Well, your hand can work. Hell, anything can probably work to hit somebody, but you want to get the correct feeling. Do you want it to “thud” or “slap” or “sting”? One of the reason that a tool like a flogger is so widely used is because it delivers a laser targeted hard slap to a super specific part of someone’s body.
This seems good in theory, but, have you ever actually used a flogger?
It’s not as easy as it looks! You need just the right amount of wrist looseness and you have to give it a perfectly timed flick if you want to give a nice little slap to someone’s behind.
And aim? Forget it.
“I could literally miss by a whole foot when I first started using a flogger.”
This is why the 50 Shades of Grey Spank Me Please Spanking Ruler (what a mouthful!) is great for delivering and receiving pain. This is a real wood 12″ ruler that can help you or your partner deliver targeted ouchies to each other. Almost everyone has been hit with a ruler by a classmate or friend at some point in their lives. Rulers freaking hurt, but it’s a sharp local pain that dissipates quickly. It’s easy to aim with and you don’t need to learn much in terms of perfecting that “flick.”
The other bonus to adding a ruler to the party is that it fits in very well with a teacher/naughty student theme if you’re into role playing!
A butt plug is another item I’ve added to our kinky kit mostly because if you want to experiment in anal play, there really isn’t any other safe substitute for a butt toy. I’ve covered it in more detail before HERE, but the important thing to remember is to not use anything in your bum or your partner’s bum that doesn’t have a flared base. The anal sphincter is kind of funny and has a tendency to suck things up there!
Save yourself an E.R. visit. Be responsible with butt stuff!
This is a silicone butt plug that is great for beginners that aren’t very experienced with the subtle art of anal play.
I’m just kidding; it’s not really art. You just put stuff in or around your bum and it feels good.
The Delicious Fullness plug measures 0.5″ wide at the tip and 1.25″ wide at the base of the plug and you’ll get 3.5 inches of insertable fun. So it’s not so big that it’s intimidating but it definitely feels “full” while it’s inserted. It vibrates and has three different vibration speeds and 7 different “morse code” patterns. This buttplug is also waterproof, so you’ll be able to wear it in the bath and shower with confidence.
This plug can also double as a vibration source for touching just about anything: nipples, clits, testicles, you name it.
Lubrication is the cherry on top of the sundae here. While you don’t NEED lube in your sexual endeavors, it sure as hell makes everything work better.
I used to think that I didn’t need extra lubrication; my body made plenty.
Until I actually used lube.
Then I realized that I was missing out big time before! Do you ever have that feeling where intercourse (with or without a partner) is feeling great, great, great, then… meh? Yeah, that’s because friction is starting to take hold and things aren’t feeling so silky anymore.
Because I’ve recommended silicone-based toys, I’m adding a water-based lubrication to your box of pleasure. You don’t want to use a silicone based lube with silicone toys because it can degrade the toy over time.
The 50 Shades of Grey Aqua Lubricant is a long lasting and non-sticky lube that is tasteless and fairly odorless. It comes in a 3.4oz bottle with a push to open top. I like this kind of top because you can dispense as much product as you want, without having a pump a million times.
It’s definitely on the lower end of the spectrum price-wise, so that’s always awesome when your favorite product is cheap!
Chances are, if you’re reading this, you are probably looking at purchasing some kinky items to use with your partner. If things so far have been fairly vanilla, I’d suggest a quick conversation with your partner about some of the things that you’re hoping to experience before you dive into your purchase. I think that it would be really unfortunate if you sprung a beautiful box of kinky sex toys on your significant other and he or she wasn’t interested in expanding their horizons at all.
To avoid totally breaking the bank, I’ve suggested 6 quality items that can get you started to get your inner dominant or submissive going! I’ll admit, I’ve mostly catered this to women’s pleasure. I think I’ll get the Mister to add a section later and replace a few of the “women’s” toys with some “men’s” toys.
In summary, your new kinky kit is going to include:
- A really awesome rabbit G-spot vibrator
- Bed restraints with a mask to have your partner in your complete control
- A pleasure tickler to add more sensations when touching your partner
- A naughty ruler to add that bit of pain to the mix
- A small butt plug to experience some new feelings
- Water based lubrication to ensure that everyone is enjoying themselves
In summary, you can knock on the Fifty Shades books all you want but you don’t have to enjoy the books to enjoy a well made sex toy. This lineup has surprised me with things like vibration strength, quality materials, and solid construction.
I hope you have fun with my suggestions, and happy spankings!