In Part I of Sex Toys for Beginners, we looked at where to buy your sex toys, what materials to choose, and what to expect upon delivery.
Now there are a LOT of fucking sex toys on the market. How on earth do you wade through everything?
Here you’ll get specific recommendations for different vibrators, dildos, butt plugs and more! I’m only linking quality sex toys that won’t break the first time you use them and are made from body safe materials.
Let’s get started!
Beginner Sex Toys
Vibrators vs. Dildos
No, I’m not planning on staging an epic sword fight! I just wanted to get some terminology clear here. Basically, a dildo is a phallic shaped toy that you can insert into yourself or someone else. It’s the broad term for most penis-looking sex toys. A vibrator, on the other hand, is a broad term for anything that vibrates. There are a few points to make here:
Some dildos vibrate.
Not all vibrators look like dicks.
Dildos for Beginners
If you’re looking for a non-vibrating, penis-looking wand to use to masturbate, you’ll want a dildo. There are many different types of dildos but I’ll point newcomers to a few main categories of dildos.
By far the most popular type of dildo. You have to be a little careful of the material that these toys are made of. Usually, realistic dildos will have a very satiny, skin-like texture. They’ll be easy to recognize because they look very much like a penis. I’ve listed two good beginner dildos here, Tantus Adam O2 and the Real Nude Sumo Dildo. Both are approximately the same size at around 1.6″ wide.
Adam O2 is probably Tantus’ most popular realistic dildo. If you haven’t heard of Tantus, they are the makers of premium silicone sex toys. They knew that the industry struggled with realistic dildos made from unsafe materials and their solution to that was to create a “dual density” dildo that has a firm core and a soft outer layer. You can read a full article about Tantus Realistic Dildos if you are interested and want to read more!
The Adam O2 comes in 3 skin colours and is especially wonderful because of the wicked G-spot curve!
- 1.6″ width
- 7″ insertable
- Made from medical grade silicone
- flared base suitable for anal play
The Real Nude Sumo Dildo is an excellent choice if you’re particularly concerned with the material of your sex toys. It is one of the few 100% silicone realistic dildos on the market. It’s difficult to make a dildo that feels totally realistic from silicone but this is pretty close. You’ll have to remember to use a water-based lubrication with this toy. I like this particular dildo because the “head” has a firmer ridge that you can rub up against your g-spot.
The suction cup on the Real Nude is also very strong. If you’re interested in using a dildo in the shower, this is great! You just stick it onto the shower wall and back into it! Hands free!
One of the other reasons I recommend this toy as a first dildo is because it doesn’t REALLY look like a penis. I remember being kind of uncomfortable with uber-realistic dildos when I was younger and, while the Real Nude Sumo does a good job of feeling like a dick, it doesn’t particularly look like one.
- 1.6″ wide head
- 7″ long total
- Made from Silicone (use water-based lubrication)
- suction cup base
Glass dildos are literally dildos that are made from glass. At first, the thought of a glass dildo breaking inside me made me cringe way too hard to even consider owning one, but that could basically never ever happen. Glass dildos are shatterproof so don’t worry! There are several reasons why people like glass dildos:
- They are beautiful to look at; often works of art!
- They can be totally sterilized, which means they can be shared.
- Will pretty much last forever unless you throw it off your balcony onto the street below.
- Feel firm inside you
- Can be warmed up or cooled easily and material holds the heat/cold.
I’ve chosen two different glass dildos to suggest for someone that has never used one before. Often, with glass dildos, you’ll find that the ridges and nubs are very pronounced. Many users like their glass toy to be as ribbed as possible. I’ve purposely avoided recommending glass toys with over-the-top ribbing because I think that for a first timer, this would be too intense and maybe even painful. The Crystal Heart of Glass and the Icicles No. 5 are my two recommendations.
The Crystal Heart of Glass is just so pretty! I love the look of the smooth humps that end in the beautiful pink heart handle! But, a pretty sex toy doesn’t necessarily make you cum. Good thing that this one does!
This glass dildo is perfect for a newcomer to this type of toy. The bulbs are gentle and gradually get a little bit bigger as you reach the base. It has a flared base so it can be safely used as an anal toy in addition to a vaginal toy. Run it under some warm water or toss it in the freezer for a few minutes to get the added sensation of hot or cold! The Crystal Heart of Glass comes with a sturdy plastic storage case.
- 5.5″ insertable
- 1.5″ wide
- Flared base suitable for anal play
- Compatible with all types of lubrication
Are you starting to see why I said that glass dildos are partially popular because they look so pretty! I mean, the options are endless for designs! Anyways, the Icicles No. 5 glass dildo is a bit of a hybrid. It’s a perfect sex toy for beginners because it gives you all of the benefits of a glass dildo and it’s curved to hit your G-spot! It has a few more speedbumps to really give strong G-spot stimulation. You can read a more in-depth review about the Icicles No.5 here!
This toy has a flared base and, therefore, would be appropriate (and fun!) for anal use. Icicles No. 5 is slightly smaller than the other toys mentioned so far at 1.25″ wide. I think you’ll find that while you’re massaging your G-spot, you will not be thinking about the (lack of) width!
Again, you can heat or cool the No.5 easily and cleaning is a breeze.
- 1.25″ wide
- 6.75″ long
- Curved for G-spot stimulation
- Compatible with all types of lubrication
G Spot Dildos
Your G-spot (or Gräfenberg-spot) is located about 2-3 inches inside your vagina on the front wall. You may need G-spot stimulation to have an orgasm, or you might not. You might find it to be too intense, or you might find it gives you a different type of orgasm than your normal clitoral orgasms. In any event, many women enjoy G-spot stimulation and, thus, the G-spot dildo was invented!
The purpose of a G-spot stimulator is to focus almost solely on the small patch of nerves in your vagina. They are typically not thick at all and have a curved or hooked bulbous end. G-spot dildos often vibrate (sigh, that would make them G-spot vibrators – different category), but many women find that the vibration is too intense for that sensitive area and prefer non-vibrational stimulation.
Personally, I don’t like vibration or, at least very intense vibration on my G-spot. If this is your first G-spot dildo you’ll want to take it slow and experiment with the different sensations that you feel.
You’ll find that many G-spot dildos are made from glass. You can find curved realistic dildos, curved metal dildos, curved glass dildos, etc.
You get the point.
Well that’s all that I’m going to say about dildos.
If you haven’t noticed, I’ve tried to suggest toys that are not too big as to scare you off if this is your first dildo, but big enough and shaped the right ways to (hopefully) help you cum.
- You might want a realistic dildo if you’re wondering what a real penis feels like or if you already like the feeling of a real penis and want to re-create that.
- You’ll like a glass dildo if you really want to explore different sensations inside your vagina. You can heat or cool it and feel the ridges and knobs as you slide it in and out.
- A G-spot dildo might be for you if you’re finding that clitoral stimulation or straight vaginal stimulation isn’t enough to make you cum or you want to learn how to cum in a new way. Most women report that the most powerful orgasms that they ever achieve are via their G-spot.
Your First Vibrator! What Should you Look for?
Ok, so vibrators, well… they vibrate!
Vibration happens to feel extremely good on your genitals and most people find that it helps them orgasm. Who’d have thought? Since there are thousands of vibrators on the market, there is absolutely one out there for everyone.
One thing that you’ll want to make sure of is that the vibrator that you purchase is waterproof. Even if you aren’t a fan of masturbating in the bath or shower, a waterproof vibrator is SO much easier to clean. Just do yourself a favor here.
Another thing to be aware of is vibration intensity.
Not all vibes are created equal.
Some vibrators only have one speed, whereas others can have over 10 different speeds and patterns (like morse code). You’ll generally find, as you spend a bit more money on your toy, you’ll get access to more options like variable speed.
You can read more about how the We-vibe Tango taught me all about different types of vibrations in my rumbly vs. buzzy vibrations guide!
The other major thing to take note of when purchasing your first vibrator is that they make noise! The range of noise can vary quite a bit and, similar to vibration quality and options, the more inexpensive vibrators typically are the loudest. Sound can range from almost completely quiet, like you can wear them in your panties at the office, to extremely loud, like you can hear it on another level of your home.
Lastly, material. You shouldn’t have a problem finding good silicone vibrators as they are becoming more and more abundant at affordable prices. I would avoid all of the jelly vibrators for sure and be more cautious when choosing other materials.
These aren’t traditional because your Granny used them. Ew.
They’re called that because they are the classic version of what we think of when we talk about vibrators. These are the rod-shaped toys that are great for thrusting into your vagina. They deliver powerful vibration and many women can achieve orgasm by just moving the vibrator in and out. Traditional vibrators are the most popular types of personal sex toys for women, therefore, it would be a great idea to start with something like this.
I’ve chosed two different vibrators to suggest for a first vibrator. The A&E Silicone Diamond Darling Vibrator and the Always Ready Pleasure Vibe. Both are made from silicone and are 100% waterproof. The Diamond Darling is the smaller of the two at 1″ wide and the Always Ready has a distinct phallic look with a ridged head for added stimulation.
- 1″ wide
- 4″ insertable length
- 100% silicone (use water-based lubrication)
- 10 speed settings
- 1.5″ wide
- 5.5″ insertable length
- 100% silicone (use water based lubrication)
- realistic shape
The Rabbit was generally unknown until the 1990’s when it became famous after an episode of “Sex and the City” where Charlotte becomes addicted to her new vibrator. This did something really incredible for women’s sex toys: the industry finally recognized that most women need more than penetration to orgasm.
The Rabbit gave us that.
The basic concept of a Rabbit vibrator is that it has an insertable shaft and “rabbit ears” that branch out from the side and vibrate over your clitoris. It allows for G-spot and clitoral stimulation at the same time; this is often a must for many women, including myself, to reach orgasm. In some models, the shaft will also vibrate or rotate, or move in some pleasurable way.
I chose two silicone models again because silicone options are plentiful in this category of vibrators.
Here they are:
The Posh Silicone Bounding Bunny and the 50 Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator. You’ll notice that they both have a slightly curved tip that is intended for G-spot stimulation. The 50 Shades toy is a little bit of a more polished toy. It’s a little bigger, has more settings, and has a USB rechargable battery instead of AA’s. For the price, however, the Posh Silicone Bounding Bunny is a great value, especially if this is your first vibrator.
- 1.25″ wide
- 4.25″ insertable shaft
- 10 vibration settings
- 2 motors
- 1.5″ wide
- 5″ insertable length
- 12 shaft vibration modes/3 bunny vibration settings
- USB charging
Bullet vibrators are named such because they look like big bullets! They’re small and discreet vibrators that can pack a punch for vibration. Bullet vibrators are generally used for clitoral stimulation but can be used anywhere that you’re looking for some good vibrations (not for anal play, however).
At only a few inches big, they are typically a little more discreet. Bullet vibrators are also usually more quiet that traditional vibrators.
Many dildos and other sex toys come with holes in them specifically for if you want to insert a bullet in it to make the dildo vibrate. You can get different sleeves to put over the bullets, or you can just use them as they are.
Some are cordless and contain one battery, while others have cords to a controller unit. You can also get bullets with a rechargeable battery now. The first bullet I’m going to recommend has just that.
Spoiler: it’s amazing.
The Rocks-off Ignition Rechargable Bullet is a USB chargable bullet that gives you about an hour play time of intense vibration with a full charge. Never fumble with batteries again.
On the other side of the spectrum is the 50 Shades of Gray “We Aim to Please Vibrating Bullet.” It’s a small, waterproof, single speed bullet with an awesome price point. Perfect for a first timer!
- 10 vibration settings
- 3.5″ long, 0.35″ wide
- 100% waterproof
- USB charging
- 3.3″ long, 0.5″ wide
- Powered by one AAA battery
- Single speed
G Spot Vibrators
Just like G-spot dildos, a G-spot vibrator is designed to stimulate your G-spot. That little patch of nerves on the front wall of your vagina is the one that you will want to be touching.
Do you know where your G-spot is?
When you feel it with a G-spot vibrator, you’ll freaking know!
The vibration adds a whole new dimension to your masturbatory pleasure. It simply feels different than “regular” vaginal penetration. You’ll find that the sensation is intense, maybe too intense. You might feel like you need to pee, that’s common. There might be fluid that comes out of you when you do have an orgasm; that’s normal as well.
I would suggest that with whatever G-spot vibrator you try for the first time, give yourself lots of time and don’t rush your orgasm. You’ll find that you might experience some or all of the sensations listed above. They sort of sound uncomfortable, but there’s an oh-my-god huge pot of gold at the end of this rainbow if you stick around for the ride.
Or maybe not. All vaginas are different I guess. Try it for yourself.
The first G-spot vibrator I chose to recommend for newbies is a classic legend. The A&E Satin G-Gasm Plus has been around forever because it works! The shape is perfect for curling into your vagina and buzzing the hell out of your G-spot.
If you want something with a few more options and a bit more refined, check out the LoveLife Cuddle GSpot Massager .
- 7″ long, 0.75″ shaft, 1.5″ bulb
- 10 vibration functions
- Silicone shaft
- USB charging
- 4.5″ insertable shaft, 1.25″ wide
Beginner Anal Toys
While women don’t have the benefit of a prostate to massage, anal stimulation still feels great for many ladies! It’s one of those things that often takes patience and time in order to feel pleasurable. There really is only one thing to please make sure of when you’re playing with anal toys: for the love of god, make sure the base is flared!
What does that mean?
It means that there is an extra wide bit at the bottom of the dildo or vibrator so that the toy cannot get pushed all of the way into your anus. Your anus doesn’t have an end wall like your vagina. Well actually, if you think about it, the end is your mouth. Eww.
The point is:
Sex toys can easily get pushed too far into your bum. It seriously just slips a little too far in and then it’s gone into the bog of eternal stench.
I’ve seen it happen. We’ve all heard of it happening. It’s very common in Emergency Rooms everywhere. My mother worked in the E.R. for years and told me once (in regards to foreign body retrieval) that “little boys stick things in their noses. Big boys stick things in their bums.” It’s not just a byproduct of male anatomy. It can happen just as easily to women.
“I tripped and fell onto this huge dildo in my asshole” isn’t believable.
Don’t be another emergency room statistic. Play with your butt responsibly.
I’m only going to recommend one toy for anal use if you’re a first timer. It’s the 50 Shades of Gray Delicious Fullness Buttplug. It’s not that there are no other good anal toys out there, but they are all quite similar. You absolutely need to make sure that your new butt toy is made from silicone because you will definitely want to be sterilizing it after using it. The jelly plugs and anal toys are quite comfortable to use, but this is definitely the type of toy that you do not want to use jelly materials. In the past, I’ve found that the jelly anal toys will start to sting and burn if worn for an extended period of time.
You don’t want a stinging and burning anus, I promise you this.
- 3 speeds and 7 functions
- 0.5″ to 1.25″ wide
- 3.5″ insertable
- Silicone material (use water based lubrication)
Do I need Lube?
You’ve decided on a toy?
Now it’s time to consider lubrication.
This is something that is going to be different for everyone. In my early 20s, I don’t think I even owned lube. My body definitely made an abundance of it and I never felt like I needed it. As women age, however, the body can “dry up” a little bit. This can be compounded by giving birth and breastfeeding. In my early 30s now, lube is a must, every time. Lubrication is one of those things that you may not even realize you need until you actually use it and see how much better things are sliding!
I’d suggest just giving it a shot. If you don’t feel an improvement in your sensation, then it just might not be for you.
Nowadays, lubes can do so many different things! Some can warm up, or cool off. There’s lubes that de-sensitize you or your partner, lubes that act as “sensitizers” to help you reach orgasm more easily. Some are flavoured and some are tasteless.
There are really two types of lubrication that you’ll be mostly interested in:
Water Based Lubrication
Water based lube has water as it’s main ingredient. It’s probably the best all around lubrication because you’ll never have to worry about interactions between the lube and the material of your sex toy. Water based lubes go on smoothly but, over time, can get a little sticky as they dry. They are safe for condom use.
- Water based lube with a long lasting formula.
- Unflavored and unscented. You will thank them for this later.
- No fluff or extras, this is slippery lube that is long lasting.
Silicone Based Lubrication
Silicone based lubes use liquid silicone as a main ingredient instead of water so, in terms of smoothness, you’ll find that silicone lube wins for sure! You won’t have any stickiness at all and the product just seems to disappear as it’s used up. Check out my in-depth look at Uberlube HERE
The major disadvantage of silicone lubrication is that you cannot use it with silicone sex toys. The compounds that are in your toy are designed to be dissolved in silicone, so, in theory, you can melt your toy. In practice, it’s not so dramatic, but definitely avoid mixing the two together. Silicone lube is also safe for latex condom use.
- überlube is absolutely my favorite silicone lube because it goes on so incredibly smooth and lasts a very long time.
- It has no smell or taste
- The bottle is designed so that the lid can never come off. If you’ve ever had a bottle of lube spill in your bed, you’ll know why this is so important.
In conclusion, you’ll see that there are so many different types of sex toys to choose from! It can definitely get overwhelming for someone just new to the game, so I’ve tried to break down the categories of vibrators to make it more simple.
When choosing dildos, you might want a realistic dildo, a glass dildo, or a Gspot dildo. If it’s vibration that you’re hunting for, you can pick up a traditional vibrator, a rabbit vibrator, a bullet vibrator or a G-spot vibrator. No one is better than the others because every body is different. Alternatively, if you’re feeling particularly curious, try out an anal vibrator like 50 Shades of Grey butt plug listed above.
This obviously isn’t a complete list of the types of sex toys that you’ll encounter but you’ll find that the majority of vibrators and dildos will fall into one of these categories.
Armed with your new knowledge, it’s time to get out there and have some safe and sexy fun!